ready to be ready

My goal was always to work from home, from back when I lived at the opposite side of the world. Living in overcrowded megapolises is no way to live. A city cemented over life brutalizes my provincial bones, leaving me with a constant need to get away and escape. 

From the crush. From the noise. From the rush. From the viciousness. 

When it was finally announced that we needed to shelter in place, the news was no surprise to me who had already chosen to isolate weeks before. Stay home. Don't see anyone. No being out and about. No social obligations. Yay!

Lots of uninterrupted time, finally - all to myself. All the opportunity to do whatever it is I wanted - just I, me, myself. Holed up within the bounds of my own sanctuary. I could. . . . 

that was Zen - this is Tao

Write about anything and everything. Read from my hoard of treasured collections. Watch all the shows and episodes I'd missed. Get back to my jewelry making. Cook fave and new recipes. Finish and start sewing projects. Rearrange the furniture. Get some house plants. 

I started two more blogs - on top of the three I was already writing weekly. I read from my piles of exotic global writers - averaging three books a week. I tore apart clothes I no longer used but still loved - hand sewing new creations I loved even more. 

I returned to my native badlit calligraphy and homeland folklore. 

Sheltering in place and isolated, I was still compelled to do things, make stuff, be productive. Embarrassed to slow down, disengage, be lazy. Luckily I was enrolled in some natural healing and self realization workshops online. 

This helped to jump start me to slow down, be still, let go. Regular sit ins with myself and boundaries started to dissolve. Walls of my cozy home fell away. I could and would gaze off in space - not necessarily through available windows. 

With elongated and deeper breaths I could relax more and release better. Dreamtime and being awake were no longer separate or distinct. Answers to questions no longer mattered as much as the quest or my questing. 

I allowed myself to float around, unbound and aimless. Blocks tumbling off and away as my insides smoothed out. Perspectives and attitudes softening, no longer restricted by reality. No longer box in or limited by my own body. 

I explored and wondered through these neglected and ignored interiors. Waiting and watching. Attentive and ready. Enjoying whatever chose to reveal itself. Elated by surprising revelations. 

Is this the secret to life? 

Show up. Reach out. Let life touch me. Be tender. Breathe with care. Become engaged. The Tao teaches the hard way and the soft way. 

The way of the warrior and the way of the wanderer.