wellbeing

We had a discussion on another blog about the importance of setting our boundaries. When lockdown was imposed on us due to a worldwide pandemic the value of healthy working boundaries increased in importance. Now that we are back to being more mobile and interactive the benefit of these boundaries are being tried and tested even more. 

Self-care is how we treat ourselves. It's how you find enjoyment, play, happiness, balance, rest, and companionship. Everyone is in the middle of a life story, and that story is shaped by what we say yes and no to. Our YESes and NOes are what boundaries are made of.

Let's begin with the most essential boundary tool that everyone has. Take a moment and visualize a compass in your hand. It looks just like this - it has two words on it, yes and no. We use this compass to make decisions, figure out relationships, and set boundaries our whole life.

None of us are immune to health issues, to a financial crisis, or to a family member who has an addiction problem. Some are dealing with these struggles every day. Some are dealing with really tough challenges every day. There are three things that we can do to support our compass. 

First, increase your self-care. You may already be doing some self-care, but you need to step it up. When your loved one has breast cancer, what I always see is your care for you goes down while you care for someone else.

Taking that time to care for yourself may seem completely ridiculous in the face of such a big challenge. But I want to see the care for you go up while you care for someone else so that you're a stronger support in the long run for you and for them.

family therapist Sarri Gilman explains boundary benefits

The second thing to do is to reach out and build a web of resources. Your compass may not have enough information to guide you through the challenge that you're dealing with. We're not all experts in everything; find people who have this expertise. Join a support group, see a therapist, take a class, reach out. 

The third thing to do is to really focus on choosing your responsibilities and limiting your time during a challenge. During a challenge, we have, like, tons of extra responsibilities just coming down the hill at us, and you can't do it all. You have to decide what you will and won't be responsible for, and you have to let go of some of the rest. 

healthy boundaries & self care

Nowadays, our technology has created this illusion that you are all a device that is always on. Now more than ever, you need to be careful and be protective so that you have some time to recover during a big challenge, and times when you're not doing ongoing problem-solving. 

All of us are in the middle of a life story, and our story is being shaped by what we say yes to and what we say no to. Shut out the noise and listen - live life with less stress, profoundly in tune with purpose.