self care

“And every day, the world will drag you by the hand, yelling, 'This is important! And this is important! And this is important! You need to worry about this! And this! And this!' And each day, it’s up to you to yank your hand back, put it on your heart and say, 'No. This is what’s important.'" ~ Iain Thomas #NoteToSelf

heart throb detail by David Michael Bowers

Setting boundaries is an essential step in mental health maintenance and gaining the safety, space, and respect we need. Creating our personal rules or defining limitations we prefer. Setting boundaries guide other people towards how to behave towards one another. 

We avoid harming our self-esteem when we start setting boundaries. By drawing the line, we can protect ourselves from being taken advantage of by others and ensure others meet our needs. 

Why should we be setting boundaries and how do we set them for other people - to ensure others respect our space, body, and being?

By setting boundaries, we can have healthier relationships with people we can trust. We can escape being emotionally drained and the feeling of being invaded by setting boundaries for our personal space, sexuality, emotions, thoughts, possessions, time, energy, religion, culture, and ethics. 

What are these basic rights? Being able to say no without guilt. To be treated with respect. Accepting our mistakes and failures with loving kindness. There is no need for unrealistic expectations. 

How do we personalize the boundaries we set up? Be firm - it's ok to assert ourselves. Say no when we feel the need to - it's important to provide a space where we are safe. When having a hard time drawing boundaries and communicating with others, it’s best to seek help from a professional. 

What value is there to setting boundaries? It improves our relationships and our self-esteem. A good life leaves room for adjustment and requires flexibility. It conserves our emotional energy, so we are not easily depleted or drained by stress and worry. It provides a safe space for self-discovery and growth.

Knowing ourselves more makes us more independent and self-confident.