this new year

Surrendering to spirit revelation
I gain the light of cosmic being;
The power of thinking, growing clearer,
Gains strength to give myself to me,
And quickening there frees itself
From thinker’s energy my sense of self.

(Rudolf Steiner, Verse 39 - translated from German by Ruth and Hans Pusch)

Originally published by East of the Sun | West of the Moon. 

The longer we spend apart, the harder it is to return. The harsher the rub on tender and exposed parts. The bigger the resistance to input. The sorer the spots of vulnerability. The thicker the amor required. The heavier its burden to bear. 

Family stories perpetuated in a long sad string of drawn out history. Bound in convoluted karmic strings. 

The ones we love most can come closest. Allowed to enter our inner ring. Getting to the core of what matters most. Heaven protect us from petty mundane lives. Loaded with years of compromised considerations. 

Always there's the black sheep. The sacrificial lamb. The bully. The catalyst. The joker. The wild card. The blamed, the blamer, the blaming. A constant whipping post. 

Here we go round the deep dark bush. In a circling dance of victim-rescuer-persecutor. Repeated misremembered tales. Carved deep and bloody into our collective psyches. 

A broken record of plots and schemes. A torture chamber of wish fulfilling fantasies. Dark. Dangerous. Dire. Who dares break out of the mold? Break free? Break away? 

Live among the demons we know? Devils of our own choosing? The tried and tested? Or feel our way through the discomfort of what's fresh and new? Untried and unfamiliar? 

Head toward the light - releasing, relaxing, letting go.