in & out

As the day dawns I light some incense and the candle on the mantle. Smudging some sacred smoke over myself and out into the world. I offer up the day's prayer and purposely encircle each room as I fan the wafting smoke all around myself and my space. 

I sit in silence for a quieting moment. Breathing gently and intentionally. Centering carefully before my day begins. Lots of thoughts - floating and bobbing, coming and going. Surrounded this way in suspended animation - a fetus in its amniotic fluid. 

Enclosed in the cocooning world of a warm and throbbing womb. All externals muted out and drifting far into the fog. Waves circling and undulating as I sink into the emptiness. Submerge deeper. Slowed down. Each atom of my being weighed down more and heavier. The self disintegrating into the void. 

Immersed. Isolated. Internalized. Into the vast unknown I go. 

elements in space & time

Change beyond the speed of thought. A dozen years ago I stepped out of community life. Bereft and adrift I stayed clear of any group. I took a masters in adult education and training. Loved what I learned, the gang who shared this with me, and how I absorbed the new with the old. 

Two years later I graduated and discovered I was not cut out for the conventional world of academia. By then I had joined this flash fiction writing group. I had sought it out to restore my sanity and ease the torture of researching and writing three class essays and papers a week. 

I was blown away by how much fun I had. Creative and wild conversations in and out of class. While slowly I was getting the hang of myself out in the world once again. While these folks turned into true friends who kept me real and fulfilled through unfolding years and phases of life. 

As I floundered around. Reinvented myself. Investigated new things. Invested in what interested me. This group of creatives are the foundation and bedrock upon which I anchored a new life. Our shared stories - written and read, fiction and not. 

They empowered me to seek more, wider, deeper. To practice deep listening. Witness more fully, not just watch in passing. Absorb and immerse myself in the knowledge and gain understanding. Not just learning, reading, writing. 

most of our gang over the years

Then the world went into lock down. We entered shut in worlds. In separate, distanced, isolated bubbles. Moving from face to face meet ups to Zoom and other virtual connections. 

Heart strings tugging and patching spotty connections and growing gaps. Inner knowing supplying contact when schedules and glitches interfere. Finding myself in our shared world. 

Spirit fortified - expressing a life - full of soul.